(no subject)
Apr. 13th, 2004 01:26 pm![[personal profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/user.png)
Don't get me wrong. I know that the chances of even just meeting Elijah in a 'can I have your autograph and I really think you're awesome in ::insert a future movie::' way, are very small. And even if I would meet him, I would leave exactly the same impression on him as I did the one time I did get to meet him: none at all (I'm not being cynical about this, just being realistic) and most of the time (let's say 99,9% of the time, ok?) I'm completely content with that. I love watching him in his movies, watching pictures, reading about him, about what little of his private life, of himself, that we get to see, about his work. He makes my heart go pitter patter Every Single Time. The way he looks, the way he sounds, serious, giddy, amused, subdued, openhearted or reserved.
But every now and then it hits me: I'll never have him.
It's completely outrageous to even think something like that. Of course I'll never have him!
But damn, every so often, for a moment. Ouch.
It doesn't even hurt in a funny, haha, silly me, way.
Just remember that I really completely realize there's no way, not ever... I'm not stupid you know. And usually it's not an issue. Just twice a year. For a short while.
Nope, I'll never have him
(no subject)
Date: 2004-04-14 01:06 am (UTC)Exactly. And most of the time that's good enough for me. And sometimes I have this feeling like he owes me something. I could hit myself for it, because it's so not true, but there it is. I don't want just a dream, I want him to make love to me and mean it.
But I guess that's asking a little too much ;)
(no subject)
Date: 2004-04-15 01:45 am (UTC)Sometimes, I think it keeps me young, this USTing. Or Whatever-ing. Because it flashes me back to how I used to feel as a teen, that anticipation and yearning.
Argh, it's late and I'm rambling again!