(no subject)

[rodneyscat]

Don't get me wrong. I know that the chances of even just meeting Elijah in a 'can I have your autograph and I really think you're awesome in ::insert a future movie::' way, are very small. And even if I would meet him, I would leave exactly the same impression on him as I did the one time I did get to meet him: none at all (I'm not being cynical about this, just being realistic) and most of the time (let's say 99,9% of the time, ok?) I'm completely content with that. I love watching him in his movies, watching pictures, reading about him, about what little of his private life, of himself, that we get to see, about his work. He makes my heart go pitter patter Every Single Time. The way he looks, the way he sounds, serious, giddy, amused, subdued, openhearted or reserved.

But every now and then it hits me: I'll never have him.

It's completely outrageous to even think something like that. Of course I'll never have him!

But damn, every so often, for a moment. Ouch.

It doesn't even hurt in a funny, haha, silly me, way.

Just remember that I really completely realize there's no way, not ever... I'm not stupid you know. And usually it's not an issue. Just twice a year. For a short while.

Nope, I'll never have him

Comments

[samena.livejournal.com]

I understand. You know when it hit me?? At c4, when I was standing outside the shopping center, looking in through the windows to catch a last glimpse of the boys, and Dom looked my way (he was looking at all the people gathered there) and his glance just totally passed over me. At that moment I knew I was just a face in the crowd to him, and I would never be anything more than that. It stung a bit, I'll admit, but I guess I just needed that little reality check right then. I'm OK with it now - and the same goes for Elijah.

[rodneyscat.livejournal.com]

Oh yeah, C4 certainly rubbed it in. It was great and painful at the same time.

[andraste-oz.livejournal.com]

I could've written the above paragraph myself, only with "Dom" in place of "Elijah". It just gets me sometimes, even though my brain knows it's ridiculous.

So yes. I feel your pain.

[rodneyscat.livejournal.com]

That's one of the things that make me realize for me it's Elijah first and formost. I just love him to bits. Most of the time in a 'Squee, my favorite celebrity!!' kind of way, and sometimes I just love him a wee bit too much or too real.

[elliebethany.livejournal.com]

I bet that's pretty close to true for a lot of us. I feel like that too, sometimes.

[rodneyscat.livejournal.com]

That's part of the problem isn't it? Because in fact we'd all like to be special, different in that way.

[http://users.livejournal.com/_riz/]

Y'know what that makes me think of? (I definitely do sympathize, by the way.) But... the girl that is going to end up Mrs. Wood or Mrs. Monaghan is probably going to be someone who hasn't even seen LOTR. Or at least hasn't loved it as much as all of us. Which is understandable, I suppose, but it's still... rargh. I mean, who's going to appreciate them more? ;) But from their perspective, there's a definite appeal there. I mean, if I were them, dating someone even remotely fangirlish, I'd constantly worry it wasn't ME they were really with, just the idea, trying to be a part of the whole phenomenon... Er. </rant>

[http://users.livejournal.com/_riz/]

P.S. Yay, Dropkick Murphys!

[evyg.livejournal.com]

i think the best way to approach these things is by realizing (and we all KNOW this, but wanting to realize it is an entirely different thing) that they're just people, and no better than the bloke sitting next to you at the pub. sure, they may *seem* like the best thing you've ever seen, but what we get is the best of at all times. we get the charming and the funny and the sexy and the adorable, without any of the drawbacks of "real" people.

so ultimately, a celebrity crush is just that: you never get to know the real person, and WERE you to, there's as big a chance of a relationship failing as with any other guy. the difference is that the letdown would probably be so much worse, when you realize people aren't all they're jacked up to be. and you'll be kicking yourself for a long time for falling for it.

(not saying now that they might not be great people, but i can guarantee they're definetly not the greatest you'll ever encounter)

that said, what i'm REALLY here for was to ask you: what do you think of Dropkick?? :D

[rodneyscat.livejournal.com]

Elijah a let down in RL? Nah, he's perfect.

About the other thing: I love 'm! (http://www.livejournal.com/users/dutch_eowyn/218504.html?thread=1932936#t1932936) Can't wait to see them live :D

[sophrosyne31.livejournal.com]

It is a nasty shock, isn't it? I mean, I consider myself a perfectly sane person with a happy full life, but part of me feels as if I have some special prerogative with someone like Dom or Elijah (and even using their first names so casually is kinda absurd, in a way, but then again, not as much as constantly saying 'Elijah Wood' as if there might be another....) sorry, where was I? So much energy and attention we've put in! So much affection and appreciation. But then I realise, as someone else said, that that itself pretty much likely precludes someone like me from ever having any chance, never mind the difficulties with geography and privacy and all the rest of the obstacles between me and those illustrious people. Who are, as someone else said, probably quite normal really.

Me, I don't ever want to meet any of them, because I'd just say something feeble and be a dork and then have to live with that for evermore instead of my idle daydreams.

[rodneyscat.livejournal.com]

Meeting them didn't really change much, if anything, although I'm still very partial to pictures of C4 because yeah, it does give me that 'I've seen him wear that t-shirt' feeling, but I've seen people write things like 'he smelled like lemon', 'I can still feel his stubble' and it's just not like that for me. It was over before I knew it and I didn't smell or feel anything, and certainly not afterward.

C4 was great though, because I got to meet so many LJ people and I almost felt normal because everybody was being completely fangirlish. It was so wonderful huddling around Patsie's laptop in the the hotelfoyer, watching pics and all going squee and moan (almost) shamelessly!

[foxykc.livejournal.com]

Ok, being older and far more disillusioned than all of you -- the dream is far nicer than the reality. Trust me on this.

Ok, that's bullshit. Just one shot, that's all I ask.

But the face in the crowd thing -- it's that very thing that always makes me think I am NOT going to these cons because that's all I am -- face in the crowd.

You have a part of Elijah that no one else has, DutchE: your impression of him and the way it melds with YOU as an individual. No one else has that. No one.

[rodneyscat.livejournal.com]

I never felt so far from them as when I was close, because realization hit hard. And because the more I know, see, hear the more I think: shit yeah, they're really real people who have to squint against the sun, who get tired, sweat, have to use the bathroom etc. etc. and it only makes me like them more.

It depressed me quite some afterward, but only for a moment, because I just don't have the talent to stay that way for long. I usually just have fun in my real life and the guys, especially Elijah, are a part of that, as an inspiration in a good way, and in many ways.

But god, I'd love to meet you again! I really need to be rich you know.

[betterintype.livejournal.com]

Yeah, it really hit me when I was at Bacchus. I was the only one on a ladder in the general vascinity (sp?) and I thought that he'd look at me, being higher than anyone else, but he didnt. at all.

of course he looked DOWN at my group of friends on the ground and threw them a bead, but he didnt even look at me.

:-/ it hurts. We put so much time and emotion into loving and caring for these people and we'll never get anything in return for it outside of the chance "here's my autograph, it was wonderful to meet you" at a convention or something.

[rodneyscat.livejournal.com]

The thing is, most of the time I do feel like I get a lot in return. It's just not directed at me personally and sometimes that's what gives me a totally unrealistic nagging feeling. But I know what you mean, it wasn't like you were expecting him to stop the parade and come to you, you just would have liked to have eye contact, as in real contact, that he saw you. And deep down you want him to know you're not just any other fan, you want to literally stick out in the crowd, if only for a flash of a moment. And if that doesn't happen, that hurts. Especially when you see other getting what you wanted and you think 'but they bloody don't appreciate it the way I would have!'

Or am I reading too much in your comment?

[amenaspointyhat.livejournal.com]

There does always seem to be that feeling looming over the heads of fangirls (and boys *grin*) but it can't be helped. I used to think I was the only one that felt like that, especially since most of my friends are guys that couldn't give a sh!t, but now I know that's not the case. I was at Orpheus and I saw Dom, and although all I would really want is to sit down for 10 minutes and talk to him, having him make eye contact with me was enough for me to call practically every person I know. To me, that meant something. He saw my face (and now has a copy of my band's cd) and I feel like I left a small impression, but an impression nonetheless. I may never have the chance to catch a glimpse of the LOTR boys ever again, but without any fantasy, We'd all be in trouble. It's the last avenue of feeling like anything is possible in your life.
As far as feeling like they're a bit,let's say superior for a lack of a better word, for me that's not it. I like them BECAUSE they seem like they could fit in with my group of friends, celebrities or not. Elijah reminds me a lot of an exboyfriend. He actually even sounds like him. It's the realization that they ARE just people that makes them that much cooler. The people I'm surrounded by SUCK, and seeing ppl like Lij, Billy and Dom makes me remember that there are non-sucky people in the world.
I think of them as a guy I met at a coffeehouse or something that knows someone that knows someone I know, and I really like him and would like to hang out with him, but it would take a lot to get there, that's all.
I dunno, I'm ranting, but the point is I most definately know that pain in your heart when you realize that you are here and they are there and that's probably not gonna change.
It's just still fun to dream though, right?

[not-alone.livejournal.com]

But every now and then it hits me: I'll never have him.

My God - that is exactly how I feel, only with me I'm afraid it happens a little more often. Because I'm so ancient in fan terms I try to kid myself that its a 'maternal' interest I have in him but of course in truth it something far from motherly. I have so many things to be happy for, a wonderful husband who loves me, and I him, two lovely kids (both older than Lij), a nice home - and I feel I should really just consider the happiness Elijah has given me as a bonus and be content with watching him in films etc. But I'm not. I want the impossible. And when I really think about it, that I'll never mean anything to him other than one of a million fans, I am overwhelmed with misery. And it seems part of human nature to never be satisfied. Twelve months ago I really believed there was no way I'd ever meet him. When I heard he was coming to CM4 I was almost hysterical. Then I met him, and it was wonderful, brief but wonderful, but I remember fighting back the tears on the journey home because I wanted more.

[rodneyscat.livejournal.com]

...but I remember fighting back the tears on the journey home because I wanted more.

Oh god, this sounds so familiar (your whole comment does) and in a way it's comforting. I do feel more connection with people who are generally happy with their life and still know what I'm talking about.

[abundantlyqueer.livejournal.com]

wow, these comments are just ... wow. i think my experience is rather different because a) i have a strong need to NEVER meet anyone i've written fanfic about. i mean, i know intellectually that, say, elijah is a real person with real feelings and does not in fact spend every waking moment in a romantic fever over orli. but emotionally i haven't quite taken that on board. being confronted with the real physical person and seeing that he IS a person would undoubtedly put a stop to any more fanfic on the subject. i met daniel day-lewis very briefly (as in 'hello' 'eh, hello' *wobbly smile and my friend manages to trip over herself*) and it cut me off half way through a hawkeye/uncus epic.

in addition, the vast majority of my fic (pretty much everything except the aragorn/legolas and 'london calling/the ice age') has been written TO sumbitch. i tend to identify her with elijah: lots of his mannerisms in my stories are modeled on her, and i've lifted sections of sex scenes wholesale from our own play.

but mainly, and this has been a theme with me ever since christian slater in 'heathers', it's not that i *want* these guys, it's that i want to *be* these guys. the gnawing misery you feel over never having elijah sounds just like the pain i feel when i realize that i will never ever no matter how long i live wake up and find it's my turn to be johnny depp. or even viggo mortensen for cryin' out loud.

[way2.livejournal.com]

it's not that i *want* these guys, it's that i want to *be* these guys

That's part of it for me, too. FOTR came out at about the time I hit a disappointing patch in my life, and as much as I'd love to shag them all silly, even more, I'd like to inhabit a version of their lives. It's the way they appear to be having a complete and utter blast, their enthusiasm, the affection they have for each other, their intelligence and talent, their multitude of interests, their playfulness, their senses of humor (OMG!) and their thoughtfulness. The work they do is varied and fascinating and they get to try out being other people, as well as meeting boatloads of incredible, creative people. They have traveled all over the world. They're full of energy and life and laughter and possibilities. They're young and unscathed enough to say things like "I don't believe in regrets."

Plus, if they wanted to, they could all have fabulous sex with each other. *dies of envy*

[empressaurelius.livejournal.com]

Ooh, yes. I'm very familiar with this sort of thing, as I experience quite often myself. *Sighs* It doesn't even seem worth it to look at other people and settle for LESS sometimes, huh?

[rodneyscat.livejournal.com]

What confuses me so much is that I've got a husband I absolutely adore. We've been together for over 20 years now and let me tell you this: when people say you can't stay in love with someone for that long, it's not true; he can still make me dizzy, give me a fluttering feeling in my stomach, make my skin tingle. I love his smell, his touch, the way he is, the way his mind works and I need to stop here, because I literally could go on and on. I don't feel like I've settled for less, I feel like I've been lucky and I realize it too.

And still... I don't want a different life, I want another one parallel to this one. One in which I actually have a part in Elijah's life.

This is getting far too complicated... >_

Raises her hand...

[trianne.livejournal.com]

When Elijah pointed at me and said, "yes?" at the screening on that Saturday night at Collectormania4 (you were at the other one, remember?), and I didn't believe he meant me and he had to repeat it - "yes, lady in the 4th row" - I could have wept. Cos he saw me. Of course, what he saw was my two beautiful daughters bouncing on either side of me to grab his attention; but, for a split second, he *saw* me. And I spoke to him and he *heard* me, and he looked straight at me and he replied to what I said. Yet 0.69 seconds later he had forgotten I existed. Until my daughter A reminded him the next day, of course.

I love him. I was thinking about it on the train from Manchester, having said a reluctant goodbye to the wondrous finduilas_clln, and I tried to tell myself it was time to grow up, time to let it go. I am easily old enough to be his mother, it's ridiculous. But here I sit, with the exquisite drawing Fin made for me of Elijah and I could cry from loving him. I will never meet him again, most likely, and if I did all he would see would be this silly old lady with pining eyes. Yet knowing it's pathetic, knowing it's wrong on so many levels, knowing all that doesn't change a thing. Elijah fills an empty space and I don't really want to have to go through my life as it is right now, with a void. So he's there. Not just because he's the most beautiful man on the planet, not just because he's Frodo; because he's also funny and talented and god damnit, he's *interesting*. He interests me, anyway. Greatly. *hugs*

Re: Raises her hand...

[rodneyscat.livejournal.com]

Na-uh, I was at the same one! I saw you sitting there and my heart made a little flip-flop when he pointed you out 'he's pointing out Trianne!' like it made me special in a way too. Does that make sense at all?

Elijah fills an empty space for me too, but I don't know how that space got there. I've got everything I could want and more than I deserve and still I obviously needed more. Greedy bitch I am.

Usually it's good and energizing fun loving Elijah. And sometimes it smarts.

[loreley-se.livejournal.com]

Yeah, I know. It stings, in spite of us being old and wise women!!! When that happens to me I try convincing myself that in RL probably he wouldn´t be that great...that it would go on my nerves how he spends hours and hours with the playstation, how he STILL doesn´t know how to operate the washing machine, how he can´t cook anything but microwave maccaroni cheese...

It´s not working though...

[singeaddams.livejournal.com]

God, no, please, not the mac and cheese...

[txvoodoo.livejournal.com]

Like the other who said "substitute Dom for Elijah", there am I.

And like several others who've admitted that they're not kids, but mature women, it'd be a very May/August (because, dammit, I'm not yet December or even October!) thing.

And I've met enough "idols" in person to know that feeling you express, which is why I hope (almost?) that I don't meet him. My imagination is a lovely place.

My life is good, I love my hubby, but dreams, ahh,they keep us free!

[rodneyscat.livejournal.com]

My life is good, I love my hubby, but dreams, ahh,they keep us free!

Exactly. And most of the time that's good enough for me. And sometimes I have this feeling like he owes me something. I could hit myself for it, because it's so not true, but there it is. I don't want just a dream, I want him to make love to me and mean it.

But I guess that's asking a little too much ;)

[(Anonymous)]

Most of you guys don't know me but I know you through your ljs and fics and posts in various places (I know a few of you, though -- we met in Hollywood at the Frodo brunch -- hi Trianne, etc!). I just wanted to pop in and make one or two comments. You are all my sisters. I am so in love with Elijah that I just want to pop sometimes, and yes, I could easily be his mother, age-wise (shudder). However, since I am the furthest from maternal anyone could ever get, this is NOT an issue -- LOL.

There are moments when I feel very depressed to think that the object of my affection will (in all likelihood) never know. It's probably insane to think that he would take one look at me at a con and fall head over heels in love. That's just unrealistic and simply doesn't happen to anyone in "real life". But hell, it sure does fuel great fantasy material, doesn't it?

I see Elijah as someone who may well end up with a woman outside the business (and yes, I too felt the same dread when I read about him wanting to marry and have children -- having lived through this with another celebrity many years ago, it's awful and it hurts and even though you try to tell yourself you're an idiot for feeling this way, you do -- and I will again, no doubt). And he's just unconventional enough to find someone older, so what can I say -- I keep hoping. The biggest problem is access -- how do you get near a guy like this for long enough to make an impression? Guess I'll just have to change professions!

So what I'm trying to say here is, don't sell yourselves short, ladies. Elijah would be lucky to have any one of you (us). And keep in mind that even the "beautiful people" don't necessarily have an edge -- poor little Scarlett Johansson did her damnedest recently to get our boy and she simply wasn't "interesting" to him (thank god). So yes -- there's always hope. Even if it IS just a fool's hope.

With lots of love,
Ann

[(Anonymous)]

Whoah...

...jeeze, people, don't destroy your own lives for the sake of an impossible dream! You need to concentrate on being happy in the ways that you can, and not lament that you don't have that impossible celebrity that you don't really know, you just have an impression of from press released coverage. You see what they want you to see, not what they ARE.

It is said that people who lust over something they know they can't have are merely sabotaging themselves. They're too scared to deal with real life, and real people, so they become obsessed with something so far out of reach that they never have to worry about interacting with anyone in any sort of relationship or sexual sense. This way you can excuse not dating that guy who likes you and avoid that whole, ya know, LIVING thing because you're obsessed with Orli, or Dom...

I know that's not the case with all of you, but seriously, you guys...look at yourselves! If the worse thing that happens to you in your life is that you weren't noticed by Elijah, consider yourself lucky!

Maybe I'm being mean, but sometimes you need to be smacked back into reality! This is obsession, people...it's SICK, and I don't just mean that for effect, I mean it as in any psychiatrist would tell you that you have a problem!

Be happy! Life is for friends and love and joy...these people are just actors. They entertain us...but TV and movies aren't concrete things! They're transient, and nothing to base a life off of...when you die, do you really want to know you spent your life obsessing over TV or movies...things that are supposed to reflect life, not be them.

[rodneyscat.livejournal.com]

I'm a generally happy person. I'm happy in my marriage, with my children, with my everyday life, with my job and colleagues and friends. I'm lucky like that. I'm aware of it. Really.

Like I said:

Just remember that I really completely realize there's no way, not ever... I'm not stupid you know. And usually it's not an issue. Just twice a year. For a short while.

Twice a year, for a short while feeling that pang of 'damn' isn't that bad. Having unreasonable desires every now and then doesn't make me a sick person. We're just having our occasional 'meh'-moment and then we go on with our lives. For some getting on with their lives may even be difficult, because not everybody is as lucky as I am. They really need a place like this to vent. Because I'm sure that's exactly what most people are doing: either having their rare 'meh'-moment or really venting some frustration to be able to do exactly what you're suggesting: lead a real life. They do that! Trust me on that.