(no subject)

[rodneyscat]

Don't get me wrong. I know that the chances of even just meeting Elijah in a 'can I have your autograph and I really think you're awesome in ::insert a future movie::' way, are very small. And even if I would meet him, I would leave exactly the same impression on him as I did the one time I did get to meet him: none at all (I'm not being cynical about this, just being realistic) and most of the time (let's say 99,9% of the time, ok?) I'm completely content with that. I love watching him in his movies, watching pictures, reading about him, about what little of his private life, of himself, that we get to see, about his work. He makes my heart go pitter patter Every Single Time. The way he looks, the way he sounds, serious, giddy, amused, subdued, openhearted or reserved.

But every now and then it hits me: I'll never have him.

It's completely outrageous to even think something like that. Of course I'll never have him!

But damn, every so often, for a moment. Ouch.

It doesn't even hurt in a funny, haha, silly me, way.

Just remember that I really completely realize there's no way, not ever... I'm not stupid you know. And usually it's not an issue. Just twice a year. For a short while.

Nope, I'll never have him

Comments

[rodneyscat.livejournal.com]

This comes very close to what I'm feeling (although what way2 writes comes even closer; my god, that's spot on!). You clearly have a writers point of view, I can't imagine what it would be like to see someone in real life who's up until meeting them basically a character in your fics. For me most of the fics are like scripts for movies, and sometimes, when the fic is really good, it's a movie, and the characters in the fic are played by the actors of my choice.

For me there's Real Life Elijah, who I will never meet, not even when I shake his hand and there's fictional Elijah. He's Frodo, or Mikey, or Patrick or he goes by the name of Elijah in those fics. And the Elijah in my head and my heart is also a fictional Elijah, not because I don't know RL Elijah (I think I know more about him than I've known about some of the guys I've actually fallen in love with and dated), but because it's a one way connection. Meeting Elijah made me more aware of the one way nature of the connection (I knew it of course, but now it really slapped me in the face), but it hasn't really changed anything, not like meeting (sorta) Daniel Day-Lewis has changed something for you.

And now I have a strong need that you never meet anyone of the LOTR cast, for obvious and selfish reasons...