(no subject)

[rodneyscat]

Don't get me wrong. I know that the chances of even just meeting Elijah in a 'can I have your autograph and I really think you're awesome in ::insert a future movie::' way, are very small. And even if I would meet him, I would leave exactly the same impression on him as I did the one time I did get to meet him: none at all (I'm not being cynical about this, just being realistic) and most of the time (let's say 99,9% of the time, ok?) I'm completely content with that. I love watching him in his movies, watching pictures, reading about him, about what little of his private life, of himself, that we get to see, about his work. He makes my heart go pitter patter Every Single Time. The way he looks, the way he sounds, serious, giddy, amused, subdued, openhearted or reserved.

But every now and then it hits me: I'll never have him.

It's completely outrageous to even think something like that. Of course I'll never have him!

But damn, every so often, for a moment. Ouch.

It doesn't even hurt in a funny, haha, silly me, way.

Just remember that I really completely realize there's no way, not ever... I'm not stupid you know. And usually it's not an issue. Just twice a year. For a short while.

Nope, I'll never have him

Comments

[rodneyscat.livejournal.com]

What confuses me so much is that I've got a husband I absolutely adore. We've been together for over 20 years now and let me tell you this: when people say you can't stay in love with someone for that long, it's not true; he can still make me dizzy, give me a fluttering feeling in my stomach, make my skin tingle. I love his smell, his touch, the way he is, the way his mind works and I need to stop here, because I literally could go on and on. I don't feel like I've settled for less, I feel like I've been lucky and I realize it too.

And still... I don't want a different life, I want another one parallel to this one. One in which I actually have a part in Elijah's life.

This is getting far too complicated... >_

[empressaurelius.livejournal.com]

Mmmm. *Nods* Yeah, that is a bit complex. LOL. I'm glad you have someone, though.....I don't. And I don't think I ever will. >.<